Typos

[jeremyosborne]

Bloodcaller Ring:

"Increases Mental Save: -7"

If that's not a typo, it's confusing.

[Final Master]

Line 89 in ghost.lua has dreadmasters summoning deads, not dreads. The corrected line is here

Code: Select all

summon = {{type="undead", subtype="ghost", name="dread", number=3, hasxp=false}, },

[Grey]

Aw hell, I'm gonna hate those feckers even more now... :(

[greycat]

http://wooledge.org/~greg/te4.spelling.20110412

Not so much spelling any more these days -- mostly grammar and consistency cleanup. Some spiders were missing descriptions. One artifact that should have {arcane=true} got it. I colorized Linaniil's lore a bit more. It still flips back and forth between time periods in its diction but I think that's fine for her character, since she lived through them all.

As always, this is nowhere near a full proofreading. It's simply "how far I got before I ran out of time".

[greycat]

Linaniil, Supreme Archmage of Angolwen (Quest to face Urkis, the Tempest Archmage).

"In the meanwhile, an thou art willing, we can send thee..."
should read
"In the meanwhile, if thou art willing, we can send thee..."

Why? "An" is an archaic form of "if". I chose it specifically for that reason. As in, "An thou harm none, do what thou wilt."

Ah well, it looks like I'm too late in responding; it was already changed. OK. If people were that confused by it, then maybe I took her too far in the archaic direction on that particular bit of dialog.

[Grey]

I'm not too fond of some of the Linaniil lecture changes myself - they stretch it too far in areas, making it difficult to read. Especially the parts which switch verb positioning such as "Arose new diseases, swept plagues across all cities." In the original text I had a few little archaic touches, but tried to keep it easy to read through.

With regards to what archaic forms to use across all her texts I think there should be consistency. The "thee" and "thou" in the Urkis quest speech should perhaps be changed to "ye" to match the lecture note. I personally dislike thees and thous - they're rarely used to good effect and tend to come off sounding cheesy.

[Grey]

Orc breeding pit - intro text should says "ntoice" instead of "notice".

[Hedrachi]

With regards to what archaic forms to use across all her texts I think there should be consistency. The "thee" and "thou" in the Urkis quest speech should perhaps be changed to "ye" to match the lecture note. I personally dislike thees and thous - they're rarely used to good effect and tend to come off sounding cheesy.

Would now be an inopportune time to mention this?

[Grey]

An excellent character for crafting a smiley with a stylish hat:

(-:?

[greycat]

I'm not too fond of some of the Linaniil lecture changes myself - they stretch it too far in areas, making it difficult to read. Especially the parts which switch verb positioning such as "Arose new diseases, swept plagues across all cities." In the original text I had a few little archaic touches, but tried to keep it easy to read through.

With regards to what archaic forms to use across all her texts I think there should be consistency. The "thee" and "thou" in the Urkis quest speech should perhaps be changed to "ye" to match the lecture note. I personally dislike thees and thous - they're rarely used to good effect and tend to come off sounding cheesy.

Good points here. I've been having her use "thou" and "thee" as the singular subject/object pronouns, and "ye" as the combined plural subject/object pronoun. Admittedly, it's hard to tell that from the samples, because one of them only has singulars (where she's talking directly to the player character), and one of them only has plurals (where she's writing to all the freshmen). So I can see why it looks inconsistent at first glance.

If you want to go with "ye" for all second person pronouns, I guess that's OK. Maybe eliminating more of the pronouns up front would be better (she could call the player character "young one" or something).

[Grey]

I like the idea of "young one" or similar descriptions. It's up to DarkGod what style he would like for the character in the game who most closely represents him (in an odd way).

I'm not against all of your changes - some are very nice. I just think flavour archaisms shouldn't conflict with readability and narrative flow. I think some of the changes also distort the original meaning behind elements of the text. Perhaps I'll rewrite the document from the base with some of the changes included.

[Hedrachi]

On another note, could someone clear up the description for Reaving Combat: Carrier? Does "You gain a foo% resistance to diseases and have a foo% chance on melee attacks to spread any existing diseases on your target." mean "You will build up an immunity to diseases, but so long as you are not immune, you can copy your diseases over to victims of your melee attack,"

or does it mean "You will build up an immunity to diseases and in the process of doing so give yourself a chance to randomly infect victims of your melee attacks with disease."?

[Sirioh]

Given that you're not generally in the habit of putting diseases on yourself, you should interpret it to say "increase your immunity to disease, and in addition your melee attacks have a chance to spread diseases from your target." Kind of like Epidemic, but for all diseases rather than only Epidemic, and using melee attacks instead of some amount of blight damage.

The wording seems fine to me, but it is predicated on reading it with the understanding that you're not generally in the business of hurting yourself, and that active talents are meant to be helpful rather than a tradeoff (which would be the case if you needed to be diseased yourself, or if the disease on a target spread to you).

[haenlomal]

In the file tome/data/chats/mage-apprentice-quest.lua, one of the player replies is:

"Who are the Elves of Angolwen?"

Problem is, the mage never made any references to Angolwen being an Elven town...

So, I would suggest:

"Who are the people of Angolwen?"

-- The Haen.

[Sirioh]

If you try to enter the temporal rift in Daikara a second time (after successfully clearing it) it states that it is "too instable to cross it again." Obviously that should be 'unstable', but I feel the grammar is also a little off, mostly because of that 'again'. '... looks too unstable to cross.' would be a simple alternative, or 'the rift looks unstable, you don't think you will survive a second crossing' if you want to get a bit more verbose.