ToME: the Tales of Maj'Eyal

For whatever reason, exiting to the main menu causes me to automatically log out of the server. This wouldn't be so bad (except for the odd time when I need to access the item vault), except that as a donator, my characters have the Stone Warden add-on required. So, even though I've never actually used the SW class, I end up with this loop:

-exit to main menu
-automatically get logged out of server
-load character, wait for game to load
-get kicked out & back into the main menu for attempting to use paid content without validation
-go back into loading menu, check the required "ignore unloadable addons" box (which doesn't exist UNTIL one attempts to load a save and fails)
-load the game (oddly, sometimes going through this loop twice will mysteriously log me back in)

The identical issue arises when one can't connect to the server for any other reason.
Manually disabling the "Stone Wardens" add-on has no effect. I've not tried disabling it before creating a new character, since I'm playing through my existing ones before starting any new ones.

My workaround has become to exit to the main menu, because it's faster to load TOME from scratch than to load a saved file twice in a row, or than to do a manual login.

Ironically, the end result is to make me half-tempted to revert to an unvalidated copy of the game without the paid content. (Which is counter-productive for everyone involved, I think!) Unfortunately that would also cost me my achievements and unlocks, which I'm reluctant to part with.

I do no have the same problem as the OP (I don't have validation issues,...yet), but I definitively have problems with the server.

I can't remember the last time I played without being connected MANY times from chat and all. Usually, during extended play sessions (2+ hours), at some point I get disconnected and the game doesn't manage to connect me for the rest of the session.

When these issues happen, I've tried going back to the main menu, and there's a "login with steam" button. However, that button is broken, as it always says "Steam client not found" even though I launched the game using Steam and I always have it running.

It's getting quite annoying, as often, my characters aren't updated on the servers, leading the server to believe that many are still alive even though they've been dead for a while...

Also, I don't know it it's related, but the game takes forever to launch on Steam. Games like the 2013 Tomb Raider or Skyrim take 5-15secs; TOME takes 2-3 mins...

It seems that the solution for this is almost trivially easy. Instead of hiding the "ignore unloadable addons" box until a failed load, why not make it a check box that stays in the last state used unless changed? Ie., if I could once check "ignore" and have it stay checked, that would fix 99% of the problem, so far as I'm concerned.