ToME: the Tales of Maj'Eyal

I successfully completed the "lost man" dream in dogroth; when I next entered a dream I appeared in the lost man dream again. I killed all the enemies but the wife did not spawn so now I'm trapped! Is there any way to escape or have I just lost a character?

don't hesitate to ask on the in-game chat, there are usually people there who could have answered you

what you have to do is press 'm', bind your basic attack skill to any key you want and hit yourself.
after some time you'll die and wake up, it's the only way to get out if the dream is bugged.

Thanks, I'll try both of those suggestions.