ToME: the Tales of Maj'Eyal

Today I was playing ToME and made a complaint over chat about a poorly-worded item description(Heart of Poosh). The general reaction of everyone else was "go fix it or stfu". I decided that they were absolutely right! I've decided to help clean up typos, rework awkward sentences, and generally improve the language of the game. This is in no way meant to denigrate anything that anyone else has written. I understand that after spending long hours to program a single weapon or weeks to implement a class that a typo or hastily-worded sentence is going to pop up. I'm mostly leaving lore alone as it generally seems well-written. I'm concentrating on class, ability, and item descriptions. My goal isn't to radically change what the original author wanted to say or convey but only to clarify and update. I've finished the updates to class descriptions and have attached the patch here. I'm going to move on to class ability descriptions next followed by item descriptions. I'm also looking for random things such as "Orcs patrol" as opposed to "Orc patrol", etc.
I hope that this will be useful! This is my favorite game and I love the idea of being able to do anything to contribute to it.

Attn: Darkgod, Edge, etc:
The forum apparently does not allow the upload of files with the .patch extension. I renamed it to .txt in order to upload it; just rename it back to use it. If there is a better way to deliver this to you kindly let me know!

I have just finished updating the race descriptions as well. This file will also have to be renamed to the .patch extension.
My next update will likely take quite some time. I'm going to tackle some quick edits such as events but also update item descriptions. I'm going to save class skill descriptions for last.

*Update* I have replaced the file with an updated entry for elves. My previous entry for that race had some issues.

Here is a small patch for the events. The only one that still needs editing is the "Slimey Pool" event. The correct spelling is "slimy", not "slimey". I didn't change it because it looks like there may be some code depending on this spelling. Everything else that needed updating is done though, so if someone could fix that one file that would be great!

Nice to see you delivered on your promise! I've been meaning to do something similar for a few parts of the game. Could you let me know how you put these together?

Thanks Grey! I installed TortoiseSVN on my PC and downloaded the development source. I then edited the files in LUAedit 2010 and saved them. After I finished a group(Ex. Events) I used Tortoise to create a patch. There are some instructions on the forum on how to set up for the SVN version but I think that they may be a bit dated.

After talking with DG I am going to just email these patches to him. I'm also going to release this as an addon tonight or tomorrow so that I can get feedback from the community.

I'm not very fond of most of your edits to the locked_descs. The originals have a vague air of poetry about them and you seem to miss the point of some of the unlock clues (eg. Cursed).

That said, I do think a couple should be changed.

Marauder
The skull/full eye rhyme here really bugs me, especially since there's a easy and appropriate rhyme close at hand.

"...Snapping bone and cracking skull, the sounds of battle are never dull!"

Wilder
I do support your substitution of "surpass" for "go beyond", but I would prefer "transcend" to either.

Psionics
The clue to unlock Mindslayer ("find the way and fight for the way") is in the metaclass descriptions, the Mindslayer desc has little to do with that class, and the Solipsist locked_desc is out of place among the others.

Move the current Psionic locked_desc to Mindslayer, and make new ones for Solipsist and Psionic.

Psionic: "Observation and action are rooted in thought. Understanding the mind is understanding the world, and makes all things possible."

Solipsist: "Reality is a reflection of those who see it. Wake from dreams of earth and smoke to a dream of the world changed."

Thanks Phantomglider, I'll go back through the locked descriptions and see if I can improve them. As far as switching around some of the locked descriptions of the classes, that goes beyond what I'm trying to accomplish with this patch and goes into the realm of rewrites. My goal isn't to make sweeping changes but to clarify wording and fix typos. There's a lot of text to go through! I'm glad that you like some of my changes and as this patch is very much a work-in-progress(I've already revised many of my updates since these posts) I believe that it will continue to improve. I should have the initial addon released shortly so that I can continue to get feedback. After this is completed I believe that we should take a strong look at your suggestions. Keep it coming!



Edit: I see what you mean about Cursed. I also removed the edits that interfered with the more poetic locked descriptions. Updated.

A little point from me: never use ; in game writing. It's too formal. I know you want proper grammar and such but game writing calls for a different style than document or journalistic writing. It has a sort of pop fiction style to it.

Grey, that's a good point. I'm going through the addon now and removing the semicolons wherever two separate sentences will serve just as well.

The first version of the Fresh and Clean addon is released! Phantomglider and Grey, I have made some updates based on your advice. The previous patches are now outdated. Please continue to give your insight as you look through the addon!

Are you also planning to clean up the talent descriptions? Almost all of them have typos of the form: [skill name] increase with [stats]. The singular/plural mismatch has bugged me for a while.

[skill names] increase with [stats].
[skill name] increases with [stats].

Maybe that only bothers me, though.

Aardvark-

Yes, I'll definitely take care of that. I'm going to go through all of the items for the next addon release and then I'll likely start going through either talents or npcs.

Fresh and Clean V 2.1 is out! Head over to the Addons Forum to check it out!

I deleted the patch links from earlier in this thread as they no longer represent the work in its present form. Much of that work has been changed and updated.

Fresh and Clean 2.2.1 is out! Head over to the addons forum to check it out!

Since this is now covered in the addons forum I will no longer be updating this thread. There is no reason to post about it in two different forums. Any feedback, suggestions, etc. should be done in the Fresh and Clean addon thread.