It's fun, right enough - Choppah's long-awaited interview with Melkor was a bit of a non-event.
a) The Slaughter Axe called 'Choppah' (12d10) (+22,+19)(200%) (+10 to speed)
It provides light (radius 3) forever. It increases your wisdom, stealth, searching,
infravision, speed, attack speed and luck by 10. It increases your hit points
by 200%. It does extra damage from acid, electricity, fire and frost. It poisons
your foes. It drains life from your foes. It is very sharp and can cut your foes.
It is very sharp and can make your foes bleed. It is a great bane of dragons.
It fights against evil with holy fury. It is especially deadly against natural creatures.
It makes you invisible. It allows you to see invisible monsters. It allows you to
sense the presence of good beings. It has been blessed by the gods. It cannot
be harmed by acid, cold, lightning or fire.
You made it yourself.
Having spent ages sitting in chapels to get +life (thus -hit, -dam) armour cursed, Santa the Edam Alchemist finally decided randarts won't flip. Then he found one that came with a curse (ready-flipped) but nothing nasty, so that did the job almost as well.
n) The Metal Lamellar Armour called 'Kevlar' (+26,+33) [23,+12](220%) (+11 attacks)
It increases your searching, attack speed and ability to score critical hits by 11.
It increases your hit points by 220%. It makes you invisible. It sustains your
strength, intelligence, wisdom, dexterity, constitution and charisma. It provides
immunity to acid, electricity, fire and cold. It provides immunity to paralysis. It
makes you completely fearless. It provides resistance to life draining, poison,
light, dark, blindness, confusion, sound, shards, nether, nexus, chaos and
disenchantment. It allows you to levitate. It allows you to fly. It allows you to see
invisible monsters. It gives telepathic powers. It speeds your regenerative powers.
It reflects bolts and arrows. It produces a fiery sheath. It cannot be harmed by
acid, cold, lightning or fire.
You made it yourself.
If I go through with the promise (threat ?
) of an 'enhanced' Mt Doom level for Christmas, then Santa will leave these pretty stiffly guarded within - you've not seen Joolie the Amulet yet, or Tootsies the Hard Leather Boots, or ...